Writing complete

Thirty astonishingly good stories later - well I am still marking actually, but the buzz around the children during their writing was palpable, some of the finest writing I have had the privilege to mark. I wish I could post it all up here, but time and space won't allow it. I am including one for now, and may add excerpts of others. I really hope some of you literacy bods read and comment. The children love seeing positive comments on their efforts.

‘Machinarium’ by Daniel

Because of the puzzles, today was the longest day of my life. We crash-landed on a colour-less, lifeless, tedious planet. I was the captain of the S.S. R.Bot and as a result I was responsible for landing on this dreary planet. This barren planet has a very rich smell of oil-waste coming through all the pipes underground. It doesn’t feel right; it just doesn’t feel right...

Under the pile of broken arms and other limbs lay me, Ned (Norbert Edwardo Deuce), the rusty old tincan, broken like everybody else in this landfill.

“Please help me, please help me” I repeated to myself as I knew if any robot was without limbs for more than ten minutes they would die. Suddenly a finger came out of the gloomy black sunless sky, and relocated my head to my body; oh the spring in my spine felt soooo good! Then the gigantic digit came and attached my legs into their sockets and I was able to move freely and get my other arm.

There was the space-craft.

“It looks more like a city now. Why?” I asked a guard. His reply was, “They’ve converted it into a city because they know they’ve got no hope getting it up in the air since the great crash.”

“Can I go in please?”

“NO! Only police allowed.”

Now was the time to test my new body. Does it have the most important power; the power of puzzle-solving?

Carelessly I kicked the cones down the gorge out-skirting the city. There was one cone left, so I decided to consume it. Underneath it lay a can of blue paint – guess what? I gobbled it up being extremely careful not to spill it in my body. There was a big pot of white paint and I needed to dip the cone in light blue paint because the colour if his hat was light blue. So I put the blue paint into the white paint and it made light blue. Then I dipped the cone in it and I realised that the guards wore helmets with a little light on top. There was one on the light-post, so I climbed the light-post with the little rungs. I got it. I thought to myself as I put together the cone and the light-bulb. I yanked the lever for the last time and finally he let me through. It felt so exciting walking along the bridge to the city, so I inhaled all of the lovely aromas.

Suddenly...

Week of game-playing complete.

So the children have worked this on the game every day this week. We have focused on problem-solving, critical thinking, vocabulary building, team work and planning. Every day the children have had opportunities to move on in the game, taking notes as they go to build up the action of the story. No formal writing has taken place so far. They have worked in pairs, but also in groups, sometimes just getting up to help others solve problems; learning through the week that it is not a competition and that everyone's perspective will be different when it comes to the writing of the stories.
When the headteacher came in to observe he noted how engaged the children were and asked them how using a game would help them with their writing.
One child commented that it helps him to 'come up with ideas' and that 'normally I have to think really hard for ideas but the game has given me loads.' The children were all positive in their responses, which may be novelty value, but in their own planners some have made comments such as 'I didn't know games could be used for Literacy!'
I can't wait to see the writing that comes out of this next week, and the children will be beautifully behaved for a long time to come wanting to finish the game I think!!

Character work

Today we moved onto introducing the main character of the story. The children had a visual of the robot from Tuesday's work and had some descriptive language in a mind map. We looked at techniques for character description such as direct description, through dialogue, through thoughts and using imagery.
The children were all keen to be 'blogged' but particularly want me to continue with Paddy's story, so I have got Paddy's and three new children's work. We all hope you enjoy what you read!

'How did I get into this mess? How did I even get here? I've not become smaller than a child. I've got some pale, white, enormous eyes. I wish I had my normal human eyes again. Bzzzt. Why on earth Bzzzt am I Bzzzt making Bzzzt weird noises. Wow! I've got a microwave for a body. At least I won't be hungry anymore; and it says X-12. Maybe there's even other robots like B-7 and F-10, woah!'

Paddy

"I know I'm a rusty old can, but I still have feelings." Robe moaned to his friends. Robe wandered away with his head down and a rattle and bang, as his noisy, rusty feet walked slowly away. 
"I wish I was not a rusty, tin can but a shiny can with silver lines on my tummy," he said to himself. As Robe was walking he did not see the old tumble dryer on the floor and he tripped over it.
"BANG!" went his metal feet and arms on the ground as he fell.

Erin M

As cold as ice I sat on the grave yard; I was shimmering with frost.
 I shouted in rage, "Help!" but no one answered. There were hardly any trees or no oxygen, my heart beat was slowly beating three seconds at a time. I drifted over the rubbish as I thought I was going to die. I was old, rusty, metal and hard but I had to survive.

Jack

Dear Diary,
I was gazing up at the stars, until suddenly I saw a huge explosion on the ground... It was an explosion filled with metal objects. I was being transformed into a robot, with a rusty golden body as if a huge pile of mango juice was being poured all over me.

Nimmy

Responses to our work

We are so excited to see our number of visitors going up and up, and to be receiving such encouraging comments.  We have even been mentioned on another site - scroll down and see.


http://paper.li/macnmug/1344492563

First day of Machinarium English work.

The children were so excited when I explained the task ahead. Today we just looked at the first couple of pages before the game even started, took screen shots and annotated them using Skitch. The children then put together some scene setting moments. Great discussion took place involving where the story was set, what they could see, hear, feel, smell, what era it was set in, what had happened. Some brilliant writing from today, and I am very excited about what they will produce in the next couple of weeks. Here are some snippets:

After the apocalypse, I thought that I was dead, but I was wrong. The place was now a wasteland, the sun was sunless, the trees were leafless. The land was as rusty as pipes, and the rest of the terrain was decayed. I headed to the ancient city that looked familiar.

 

Paddy

 

In a dark gloomy realm where a dead empire lies in war I keep peace between war and harmony. So far war has not struck us but, one hundred years ago our mechanical warriors fought hard to protect our kingdom. I search for the great wizard sword with a magic that not even the most powerful wizard can hold.

 

Jacob

 

As rusty as metal, the tower of tins near a mysterious pile of waste felt dry and unusual. The smoky sand floated through the air. Suddenly, a mysterious metal thing drifted across the sky and into the deserted mechanical waste of junk. The universe felt magical through the sandy air.

 

Lexiss

 

I've been captured by a few hostile robots in the middle of a war. Their ship crashed on a far away planet. On this planet it's like a vast wasteland and a huge pile of junk, with armoured robots with guns in the palm of their hands.

 

Harvey

 

I know the children would be very pleased to hear some comments that I can pass on so feel free!

 

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Pre- iPad English lessons.

So after lots of research and playing around I am starting a short unit of work using the iPads as a basis for generating story telling. I will be using the app 'Machinarium' by Amanita design. I wanted to find ways of engaging a very boy-heavy and Maths able class in quality writing. I also was determined to use the iPads, new tools for us this year. Having used Myst in the past, I felt that gaming through digital literacy was an interesting and exciting way to go. I read blogs on sites, these two particularly I found helpful - Bill Boyd and Mr.Andrews and devised a few lessons based around this reading and my own knowledge of my class and their capabilities.

Tomorrow we begin, I will be explaining the process, and we will start slowly, looking at the 'front cover' of the game, using Skitch for note taking on the setting, and beginning the process of character development. We will use paper and pens alongside stylus and tapping; we will, I hope merge the old and the new.

We will see!

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